All I Ever Wanted
by Eric theBlackButler Johnson
Summary: Shuichi only wanted to make Yuki happy. But things go wrong after Yuki's secret gets out. Rated M for gore, swearing and adult language.
1. Chapter 1

××Warning: Yaoi, gore, swearing

Trigger Warning: Mentions of rape!

•Anime: Gravitation

© to Maki Murakami××

Have you ever thought that life would get better if you were happy? Like you could make the world happy just by smiling? I used to think like that. And then I met Eiri Yuki.

Yuki was your typical "tall, dark and handsome" kind of guy. Blonde hair, gold eyes...for a Japanese boy, he looked American. He had a short temper and was rather cold...he had a dark secret, too. He told me about it...I could never forget it...

~Yuki held up a small picture of him as a kid, and another, older male. "It might not be much of a consolation prize, but...I'll tell you a secret." He had a slight pained smile on his face as he narrowed his eyes slightly.

"About what?" I blinked, stunned. Was he finally going to tell me his past...?

"About the missing chapter in my life...about that sexy young boy in the picture with me." His smile vanished as he stared at the picture.

"...! You...you mean..." I gasped, taking a step back. N-no way...my heart and head were pounding now.

"That's right." Yuki grinned as he held out the picture. "The guy that I /killed/." I looked down at the picture, many thoughts racing through my mind. "His name was Kitazawa...and at the time, he was my tutor."

My eyes sparkled as I held the picture, clasping a hand to my cheek as I gasped. "Ahhh...a home tutor...your family was wealthy, wasn't it, Yuki?" I smiled up at him as he paled slightly.

"Yeah, you could say that's the way the dice landed for me." He leaned back against the railing at the Disneyland in Tokyo. "I know I mentioned it to you before...I had a hard time as a kid because I didn't look Japanese. The other kids picked on me because of it...eventually, it started to mess with my head, and so they sent me to New York."

I stared at the picture curiously. "And that's where you met this guy? He seems cool." I blinked and looked up to him; his face twisted with anger.

"He helped me with English...until he tried to rape me. I fought him, and it pissed me off, so I killed him."

My eyes opened with shock and tears flooded my eyes. 'Really...? Is that true?!' "That's so wrong..." I clutched the picture tightly.

"HEY!" Yuki's yell startled me, so I looked up with a sniff. "To be honest, the attack wasn't that big a deal. He didn't get very far." Yuki was looking out over the water, his eyes lost in his memories.

I felt a sob build up and choked it back, muttering "Then why...?" He looked at me then past me.

"How do I put this...he brought a friend with him, and the guy was kind of amped up." It took seconds for the meaning to click in and my eye twitched. "This other guy, he offered the tutor ten bucks if he could have first crack at me. And Kitazawa-kun said 'be my guest'." Yuki shuddered at the thought. "That probably hurt the worst."

The whole thing seemed so wrong. He was so hurt, so damaged, and yet I still asked, "Yuki...were you in love with him?" He continued to look away, his only response being that he didn't know.~

I laid back. It's been a long time since then. Well over a year. He said I grew up a bit.

Oh geez...I never introduced myself! My name is Shuichi Shindou! I'm now 20 and I let my black hair grow out so that only the tips are pink. My eyes are violet and I'm pretty small for my age. But anyway...

This story is about how I killed Eiri Yuki.

~~~TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW~~~ 


	2. Chapter 2

~~~All I Ever Wanted Pt. 2~~~

We had an off and on relationship after he told me what happened between him and Kitazawa. And we had our fights and problems, too. He still remained closed off, though he tried to show me how he felt. Heh, it made him cute!

Ah, who am I kidding...? It was about four months ago that his secret leaked out, and Yuki became cold once more. It was first printed in the papers, and Yuki was taken in for questioning soon after. Even if it happened in New York, a murder needed to be filed.

Or something like that.

Yuki didn't seem to trust me anymore, either...he spent more time in his study, and wouldn't let me sleep with him. He grew violent, and started drinking more than normal...and that's a lot of booze!

And just last month, my old nemesis returned.

Taki Aizawa, former front man of the band ASK. He had black hair and blue eyes, his skin tanned slightly and a devil-like smile. He had this strange hatred for me, and several years ago he filmed his men beating and...raping me.

Anyway...guess I need to explain Taki's role, huh?

Well...let's start with his sudden return...

~I was pacing through my house with Yuki watching. I walked from the bedroom, down the hall to the bathroom, then down the stairs to the living room, dining room then kitchen, before going upstairs and doing it all again. Yuki grumbled, and poured himself a shot of bourbon, which he knocked over when the doorbell rang; me beside him.

Slowly, Yuki wandered over to the door; highly suspicious because the only visitors we ever get are either the press or the cops. When he opened the door to Taki's smirking face, Yuki nearly slammed the door on him; Aizawa's foot between the door and the frame.

"Now now, that's no way to treat a guest..." Aizawa snickered as he forced the door open. Yuki backed away, his arm on me protectively. Aizawa smirked even more. "That's more like it...back away, bitches. You're under my control." His laugh resonated through the house and I his behind Yuki, who stepped closer.

"The hell makes you say that. You're just as stupid as you were before." Yuki's back was to me, so I couldn't watch his face, but judging by Aizawa's reaction...it wasn't pretty.

Aizawa scoffed, and walked past Yuki. "Hurt me, and you'll just get arrested, dear Yuki~" Aizawa smirked, and grabbed me by the arm. "After all, they're just waiting for another scandal, wouldn't you say?"

"You...!" Yuki gritted his teeth, and stepped towards me as Aizawa pulled out a knife and held it to my neck. Yuki froze, his face no longer hiding any emotion as the tears started in his eyes.

I couldn't move. I just stared back at Yuki, who unwillingly stepped back. "Good boy, Yuki...now, how shall we have fun...?" Aizawa's knife trailed along my body and I gasped; starting to cry. Yuki gritted his teeth once more, then charged.

I hit the ground with a hard thud; the gun landing on my chest. Yuki and Aizawa punched and kicked at one another relentlessly before Yuki grabbed a knife and cut Aizawa's cheek open. With a loud scream, the blood seemed to pour out and he kicked Yuki off him, yanking the knife from his grasp. I sat up and grabbed the gun shakily as Aizawa sneered, and drove the blade into Yuki's stomach.

The scream pierced my heart. I couldn't move again and tears flowed as I screamed with him. Aizawa twisted the blade, and ripped Yuki's stomach open before reaching in and slowly pulling out his guts. Yuki kept screaming, and I shakingly took aim. Yuki grabbed Aizawa's hands, trying to kick him off but was too weak to do much. Aizawa slashed Yuki's wrists, and Yuki stopped making any noise. He still fought, but with little hope.

I finally squeezed the trigger as I slammed my eyes shut, the bang startling me. I couldn't hear that awful squealing noise of Yuki, and slowly opened my eyes. Aizawa started laughing, and I dropped the gun in horror. I had put the bullet right through Yuki's throat.

Yuki slowly looked at him, blood pouring from his mouth, and gave me a sympathetic smile before he stopped moving and breathing. Aizawa rose off of him, and approached me; knife firmly in his grasp.

"You killed your lover, Shuichi. Who knew you'd have the guts?" Aizawa mocked, pinning me to the ground. He shoved the blade deep into my shoulder and I screamed. He smirked, and caressed my cheek. "Too bad, though. He's a murderer, and now you are too. And, I suppose, so am I." Aizawa twisted the blade, then ripped it out. I screamed in agony; writhing under him as he pointed the bloodied blade at my heart.

"Time to die, Shuichi Shindou~"

"No..!" With all the strength I could muster, I grabbed his armed wrist and started to twist in. With a pained cry, he dropped the blade then snarled as he slammed me against the floor. "No...! Yuki...!" I sobbed, before Aizawa's fingers closed around my throat.

He squeezed tightly, thumbs driven into the part near my chin. I gasped and struggled for air, light fading from my eyes. Behind him, I could see people rushing in and heard shots being fired before my world went dark.

When I came to, I was alone in a cold, empty hospital room. I blinked slowly a few times, then gasped as I began to remember what happened. With one last scream, I held my head and began to pray that it was all a dream. A man entered my room, and sat by me. He rubbed my back, telling me that it was all over. That there was nothing left to fear. I screeched, and pushed him aside.

"I'm forced to live without Yuki! I'm too scared to live without him! I don't want to be alone! Yuki, I...I'm sorry...!" I sobbed bitterly, letting the man hold me as I cried.

After what felt like hours, I pushed off him slowly. He introduced himself as the chief of police. He told me that when I felt I could, that I had to give him a statement as to what happened. I nodded, and said I would.~

And that's when you came in, reader. I'm writing my statement as I speak to you. But...please. Don't take pity on me...I don't think I could take it. Just...pray that Yuki is finally happy now; that he can smile without pain as I live on alone. I'll do my best to live for him. Please, do it for me.

I'm sorry, Yuki...

I...love you...

~~~The End~~~ 


End file.
